Why?

19 Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, 20 idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, 21 envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these… Galatians 5:19-21

1 And you were dead in the trespasses and sins 2 in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience— 3 among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. Ephesians 2:1-3

Fathers, let’s consider one basic question regarding the issue of protecting our children from the entrapment of the world: Why? As in Why do they want to sin? Why can’t they see that it is more blessed to give than to receive? Why can’t they see that they don’t always have to be first? Why can’t teenagers see that sexual sin is wrong, always wrong? Why can’t they see that parents must be obeyed? The answer, of course, should not really be a mystery.

How did children begin their lives? Many would have us think that our children begin life neutrally with regard to obedience. It is easy to think that if I, as a parent, would be more patient and kind my children would respond more quickly to my instructions. While it is true that parents should be patient and kind, that by itself will not help children to be more obedient. The problem goes much deeper than that. The two passages quoted at the top of this post state the problem powerfully.

These two passages describe both the actions and the motivation of children. Children sin because it is what they deeply desire from birth. It takes faith to look at an infant and then believe that Galatians 5 describes the things that he wants to do naturally. It takes trust in God’s word to believe that your child’s natural motivation is to indulge his fleshly passions and follow the ways of the Evil One. Yet this is precisely what these two passages teach. No amount of kindness, gentleness and evenness on the part of parents will dislodge the natural passion in children to live for themselves and gratify their flesh. Only a new heart can make that difference.

Tim Challies has a helpful and insightful post on his thoughts about his children’s sin. He rightly compares his own battle with sin to his children’s:

But I’m like a kid. I like that sin and I hate the authority that places itself over me and tells me to let that sin go. I roll my eyes, I grind my teeth, and I feel my heart rebel. In my heart I tell God that I’d rather sin than obey Him; I effectively tell Him that right now I’d rather have my sin than have Him. This sin is more important to me than my relationship with the Creator of the universe. Oh, I love that sin so much.

Tim’s honest assessment of his own affection for sin puts the cards on the table. I believe that he provides an accurate picture of what goes into a child’s thinking when he refuses to obey. I am humbled by Tim’s honesty and transparency. I am also grateful because I believe his words give you a glimpse into the heart of children struggling with obedience and wanting what they want.

You see, being even and kind to a child dominated by these thoughts will not make a dent in the real issue. That is why your focus in parenting must be directed at the heart. As a Christian parent trying to lead your child to Christ you are, in effect, interrupting a love affair between a child and his natural passions. Children are by nature focused on what they want. What they naturally want is not pretty! Look at Galatians 5:19-21 again. When you tell your child he should share his toys, you are challenging a deep, passionate desire for self-gratification. As parents we think, it is just a toy truck, what’s the big deal? The big deal is that your child is naturally controlled by the desire to please himself. That toy truck is his connection with happiness and you want to take it from him! No wonder there is such a negative reaction when you tell him to give it up.

This is why only the gospel and the word of Christ can help your children. The word of God must be deeply valued by our children. Tim’s comments provide some background to the truth of Proverbs 6:20-24 that we have been examining in the last several posts. Tim also demonstrates a parent’s biblical response to his child’s natural love for sin when he recognizes the similarity between himself and his child:

So I guess I’m not too different from my children. The remedy they need is the same one I need. Like me, they need to see that authority is given to us as a gracious gift from God. They need to learn to honor authority and to see it as something given to restrain us rather than annoy us. And they need to honor that authority and to obey it joyfully, willingly, immediately and with a joyful heart. This is what I need to do with my sin—I need to hear and heed God’s Word. And this is what they need to do with their sin—hear and heed my words as I seek to teach them what God would have them do.

This is the point of Proverbs 6:22 when it speaks of how the word of God is to live within us.

When you walk, they will guide you;
When you sleep, they will watch over you;
When you awake, they will speak to you.

You and your children have the same issues. The answers to those issues are the same for each of you. Hearts must be directed to Christ and his word. Sin needs to be seen for what it is. The next time you wonder why your children don’t respond well to your direction, think about what is really going on inside. Consider the battles of the heart. Consider the hope that Christ alone offers. Urge your children, as Solomon did, to bind the words of Christ upon their hearts forever.

· What behaviors and attitudes do you see in your children (or yourself) when they can’t have what they want? (Anger and defiance? Self-pity and sulking? Obedience?)

· How do you usually respond to their behavior? (Do you label their behavior/attitude biblically, or do you try to “manage” it or appease them?)

· What changes do you need to make in the way you confront sin in your children?

If you don’t have children at home (or even if you do) what changes do you need to make in the way you confront sin in yourself?

Be Strong and Courageous

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go." — Joshua 1:9

Here are some recent headlines from newspapers & Internet sources:

America faces food rationing?

Oil nears $118 per barrel – could top $125 soon!

Gas at all time high

Dollar continues slide against Euro

Economic Recession already here

After-shocks continue from mid-west quake

More troops killed in car-bomb in Iraq

Housing crisis deepens

These headlines are typical of the news these days. While these headlines are nothing new, they represent constant themes that are before the American public. Taken as a whole these headlines present an attitude of concern and worry. They indicate an undercurrent that is increasing in our culture – gloom and doom. These themes work their way into the lives of our families. While they don’t represent imminent danger, they contribute to a general mood of discouragement.

As husbands and fathers, you may or may not be bothered by these headlines. You may just dismiss them as media hype. However, our culture is discouraged and even fearful of these warnings. Our children interact with other children whose families may “stressed” by the daily onslaught of depressing headlines.

God’s words to Joshua are the only true source of hope and courage in this world. Without trusting in God’s sovereign control the barrage of worrisome headlines does provide reasons for discouragement. This is important for us to communicate to those around us. The reason things will not fall apart is that God is in control—not because we have the good sense to recognize media sensationalism.

Strength and courage come from God. The world is intimidating. It is important to take time to encourage your family with the truth of Joshua 1:9. We can be strong and courageous because God is with us. Make a point to take a headline from the news and examine it with your family in light of God’s providence and control. Help your families be encouraged by the truth of Scripture.

Also, examine your own heart in light of this changing world and culture. Some of you, perhaps, are facing downsizing at your job. Some are concerned about rising housing and fuel prices. Food prices are going up. In these situations, fear can show itself by increasing irritation and shortness with others. You may find yourself doing the finances over and over again in your mind. Perhaps the headlines are beginning to take their toll, now that you have thought about it. The answer is still the same. Be strong and courageous for I am with you!

• What type of issues concern you most for the future? Economic? Morality? Terrorism?
• What issues tempt you to worry and anxiety?
• What will you do to replace fear with courage and strength?

Why do you work?

Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ. Obey them not only to win their favor when their eye is on you, but like slaves of Christ, doing the will of God from your heart. Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men, because you know that the Lord will reward everyone for whatever good he does, whether he is slave or free.

And masters, treat your slaves in the same way. Do not threaten them, since you know that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and there is no favoritism with him. Ephesians 6:5-9

Why do you work? A number of answers seem obvious: to pay the bills, to get out of debt, to build the 401-K, to buy a house, to use personal abilities, to advance professionally, and other reasons. For many in American culture, work is a means to an end. In other words, some people endure work, but what they really live for is some activity outside of work. Few think of work as a religious activity unless one happens to be in some sort of full time religious service.

Take a few moments to consider what you think about work and why you work. Since work often occupies the single largest block of dedicated time in life, having a clear idea of why you do what you do is good important.

This passage in Ephesians 6, plus the parallel passage in Colossians 3, makes a very personal claim upon the lives of Christians. Christians are told to work to do the will of God. You are even told to obey your supervisor or boss just as you would obey Christ. It might seem that it would be easy to obey Christ if he were your boss at work. He would always be fair, his criticisms would be just and helpful, and he would always be looking out for your best interests. What’s not to like about this situation? However, verse five says that you should obey earthly supervisors as if they are the Lord. Here is the rub: human supervisors are not always fair, their criticisms are at times unjust, and often they are more concerned with their own interests than with yours. Yet Paul says to obey these earthly authorities as if they were Christ, himself. Why? For the answer, take a look at verse 16 in Colossians 1:

For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him.

Notice the relationship between this verse and verse five above. Your supervisor, with all of his or her faults, was still handpicked by Christ for the job. Jesus Christ determined who your supervisor would be and made you accountable to him. This accountability is not based upon how well your boss performs, but upon the placement of that individual in your life by the Lord of the Universe. All authorities were created at his pleasure.

Work – it is an opportunity to bring honor to the name of God. Do your families see you thinking this way about your work? Your work provides a powerful leadership opportunity to live out true reality in front of those whom you are to lead!

· What things does your boss or supervisor do to make it difficult to obey him as if he were the Lord?

· If you have employees under your authority, what do you do that might make it more difficult for them to obey you?

· What changes do you need to make at work in these areas?

· How can the other men in your group help hold you accountable to be a better leader at work?

But the one who does the will of God lives forever…

Do not love the world nor the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world. The world is passing away, and also its lusts; but the one who does the will of God lives forever. —1 John 2:15-17

In our studies since the fall we have examined the Beatitudes together. We have been challenged concerning our responsibility to know the Scriptures in order to be able to answer the questions our families may have. The Proverbs have called us to have courage, to fear God, to be discerning, to listen well, to invest in heavenly treasure, to love a rebuke. All these studies are different facets of one great common theme—if we are God’s men we must not love the world, its ways, and its things. What we have studied together is not compatible with loving the world.

This week’s passage in 1 John tells us that the things connected with this world are not worthy of our love, our affection, our longings. The world is passing away. The deceptive plan of the evil one is to entice us to love things whose value is literally a fleeting shadow. The world promises much but delivers only bitter fruit. The things in the world do not bring any lasting satisfaction, only craving for more of those same things.

Certainly none of us wants to see our families pursue the futile desires of this world. We don’t want to see our children say, in the words of Proverbs 5:14, that they have come to the brink of ruin. But are we prepared to lead by example as well as by word and intent? All of the good things we have learned in the men’s ministry will come to naught if our affections are set on the world and things in that world. John is clear: do not love the world. He then identifies three things that distinguish the love of the world: the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the boastful pride of life.

John is telling us that the things we crave for human satisfaction—things that our eyes are attracted to, worldly things that we long for, and finally, accomplishments that only the world will recognize—take us away from doing the will of the Father. These things cause us to be poor examples to our wives and children. Men, do you have things in one of these three categories that you will not give up? Perhaps they are secret things that you believe only you know about. If there are such things that you will not give up, you are not only heading in the wrong direction yourself, but you are also setting a bad example for your children. Ephesians 4:17-19 teaches that this pursuit will never satisfy, but only lead to lusts that can never be satisfied. The opposite pursuit is to do the will of the Father, which leads to eternal life.

This week as you look at our passage, ask God to help you see where you have a love for the world. God offers us a rich reward for turning from the world. If we pursue his will, revealed in Scripture, we will live forever. No, this is not something we earn. Living forever is the gift of God. However, we can choose not to live for this world, but instead, pursue with courage the will of God. Men, this is a great gift to give to your children, to your grandchildren, to your wife, and to all those whom you love most dearly.

• What activities in your life reveal a love for the world?
• What can you do today to turn away (repent) from this and do the will of God instead?