Gas Prices & Leadership

The law from your mouth is more precious to me
than thousands of pieces of silver and gold. Psalm 119:72

Leadership that honors God must be consistent with what God says about himself in Scripture. As you grow in your Christian walk, your appreciation and awe for God and his Son must increase, not decrease. In any relationship, if you begin to take someone for granted the strength of that relationship begins to decrease. Taking God for granted, as in not having growing love for him, will lead to inconsistency in the things you say and the things you do. Children show particular expertise in detecting inconsistencies in parents. If you talk to you children about a God who is wonderful, about a Savior who means everything to you, but then you are down and discouraged about some event that didn’t go your way, you are being inconsistent. Your testimony about the wonder of God is diminished your children’s eyes.

For example, you may speak glowingly about the sovereignty of God but then be quickly discouraged by rising gas prices. This discouragement may spill over into worry and short tempers as the price of gas marches upward. Complaints begin about the price of food going up because of high gas prices. Trips to the gas station become an exercise in anxiety as you peek to see how high the gas price has risen since yesterday. You may hear yourself saying things like, No children we can’t go to the park today. It is too expensive to drive there and I don’t want to hear any whining about it. Then when you speak to a friend or coworker you say, “I just can’t believe the price of gas! This is outrageous. I can’t even go to the store without having to take out a loan to pay for gas!”

What difference does the sovereignty of God make to you? God is no less gracious to you now than when gas was selling for $1.95 per gallon. However, your children might think otherwise. Do they hear constant complaints and worry—or short, irritated responses?

To be sure, the rising price of gas presents significant budget challenges to your family. But Colossians 1:15-20 says that Jesus Christ has authority even over the price of gas. Romans 8:28 teaches that all things work together for the good of those who love him. If you teach your children that the control of God is a good thing, then you must also come to terms with rising gas prices. This does not mean that you must pray for the price of gas to go higher! But it does mean that even in this difficult situation and the financial hardships that may come, God is still the wonderful Lord of Creation. He is bringing these events about so that you will look more to him and less to yourself. It is important to teach your children to adjust to the lifestyle changes that may come with rising fuel costs in a way that honors God. God is still a good God even if gas prices continue to rise.

It may well be that rising gas prices are the result of poor governmental planning, trouble in the Middle East, and an over dependence on foreign oil. But none of these factors detracts one bit from the glory of God and the priceless gift of salvation found in Jesus Christ. Psalm 119:72 says:

The law from your mouth is more precious to me
than thousands of pieces of silver and gold.

Every trial is an opportunity to live out this reality in front of your children, your wives and the community around you. Rising gas prices will no doubt have a significant financial impact for many, perhaps your family. As Psalm 46 says, you can take comfort and refuge in the knowledge that the God of Jacob is for us. The Bible does not ignore hard times. It tells us to expect them. The difference between the wise and foolish builders in Matthew 7 is not that one faced storms and the other one did not. Storms came to the lives of both men. The difference was the foundation upon which their lives were built. May God grant grace to us as parents, and the ability to present God as faithful in both pleasant times and difficult times. The world can easily complain about high gas prices and fall into despair. God calls you to be different from the world. Use this opportunity to offer praise to the Lord of heaven and earth, and yes, have confidence in God even in the face of gas prices.

Have you reacted to the rising price of gas with irritation or anxiety? Remember, just last week we talked about the sufficiency of Scripture, and our commitment to growing in reliance on the Bible in areas of our lives where we fall short. As you grow in reliance on the Bible, you will respond to trials—such as the gas prices—with more wisdom and consistency.

Summer is almost here; vacations will begin. Don’t take a summer vacation from your leadership responsibilities. Plan some goals now for this summer.

• Do you have specific, measurable goals for growing in your knowledge of the Bible? If you don’t, why not discuss this with your group, and set at least one specific goal for yourself for the summer months?
• Remember to include what, when, and how. Your plan should have specific steps to do at least weekly.

The Bible, Leadership & You

• I run in the path of your commands,

  for you have set my heart free. —Psalm 119:32

  Certainly one thing that can be said about the teaching at Redeemer is that the Bible is central to all that we do in life. This belief is the cornerstone of our counseling program. The challenge for us as men is to extend this reliance upon the Scriptures to all areas of our lives. On the basis 2 Peter 1:3-4 and other passages, summarized in our confessional standards, we affirm that the Bible is the only perfect or infallible rule for faith and life.

  It is important for us to examine how consistent we are in applying this truth to our lives. With the time pressures and many responsibilities of everyday life it is easy for us to unwittingly add to the standard of the Bible as our only infallible rule for faith and life. For example, do our wives and children see us consistently appealing to the Bible as the basis for our day to day decisions? Or do they see us relying on some homemade combination of dad's conventional wisdom and common sense?

  We must not let the Bible be crowded out by day to day pressures. Our world is so full of competing philosophies and perspectives that we have to make an intentional effort to start with Scripture. While it is often easier to do things the way we've always done them, or the way friends at work say to do them, or whatever the popular conventional wisdom says, God wants us to do the hard work using his word as our source of wisdom. Although challenging, this approach provides great freedom.

  Let's explore this theme for a moment. The goal is not to quote Scripture locations with every sentence that we speak. Rather, our goal should be to have the principles of Scripture be so familiar to us that they flow freely and naturally out of our mouths. As John says in his first epistle, the commands of God are not burdensome. Psalm 119:32 puts it this way:

  I run in the path of your commands,

  for you have set my heart free.

  This verse accurately reflects the mindset of someone who believes that the Bible really is our only perfect rule of faith and life. Here, intimate knowledge of the word of God produces a genuine heartfelt freedom. This verse does not describe someone struggling with a heavy burden, but someone who moves with eagerness and freedom along the path of life. This is what the Bible is designed to do for the people of God. Psalm 19 says that the word of God revives the soul, makes the simple wise, gives joy to the heart, gives light to the eyes and is much more valuable than precious gold.

  Men, if this is what the word of God is to you, then your attitude and behavior will encourage those around you. You will find yourself being excited about discovering new ways to apply the Scriptures to your life.

  Since last fall, we have covered a lot of ground in our discussions about leadership. In the next couple of weeks, as we approach the summer break, let's specifically thank God for the sufficiency of his precious word. Let's pray that God would produce in us the reality of having our hearts set free, as we run in the path of his commands.

  Remember, if we think the word of God is restrictive, our children will think the word of God is restrictive. If we act as if obedience to Christ is a heavy burden, then we will not be the encouragement to our wives that God calls us to be. If following Christ is drudgery to us, then others will have no desire to serve the God that we serve. Men, does your life reflect the joy of Psalm 119:32?

• List some areas in which you do not rely sufficiently on Scripture for wisdom.
• List at least two areas in which you commit to grow in your reliance on Scripture.
• What will you do to accomplish this? Include what, when, and how. To whom will you be accountable?

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Why?

19 Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, 20 idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, 21 envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these… Galatians 5:19-21

1 And you were dead in the trespasses and sins 2 in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience— 3 among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. Ephesians 2:1-3

Fathers, let’s consider one basic question regarding the issue of protecting our children from the entrapment of the world: Why? As in Why do they want to sin? Why can’t they see that it is more blessed to give than to receive? Why can’t they see that they don’t always have to be first? Why can’t teenagers see that sexual sin is wrong, always wrong? Why can’t they see that parents must be obeyed? The answer, of course, should not really be a mystery.

How did children begin their lives? Many would have us think that our children begin life neutrally with regard to obedience. It is easy to think that if I, as a parent, would be more patient and kind my children would respond more quickly to my instructions. While it is true that parents should be patient and kind, that by itself will not help children to be more obedient. The problem goes much deeper than that. The two passages quoted at the top of this post state the problem powerfully.

These two passages describe both the actions and the motivation of children. Children sin because it is what they deeply desire from birth. It takes faith to look at an infant and then believe that Galatians 5 describes the things that he wants to do naturally. It takes trust in God’s word to believe that your child’s natural motivation is to indulge his fleshly passions and follow the ways of the Evil One. Yet this is precisely what these two passages teach. No amount of kindness, gentleness and evenness on the part of parents will dislodge the natural passion in children to live for themselves and gratify their flesh. Only a new heart can make that difference.

Tim Challies has a helpful and insightful post on his thoughts about his children’s sin. He rightly compares his own battle with sin to his children’s:

But I’m like a kid. I like that sin and I hate the authority that places itself over me and tells me to let that sin go. I roll my eyes, I grind my teeth, and I feel my heart rebel. In my heart I tell God that I’d rather sin than obey Him; I effectively tell Him that right now I’d rather have my sin than have Him. This sin is more important to me than my relationship with the Creator of the universe. Oh, I love that sin so much.

Tim’s honest assessment of his own affection for sin puts the cards on the table. I believe that he provides an accurate picture of what goes into a child’s thinking when he refuses to obey. I am humbled by Tim’s honesty and transparency. I am also grateful because I believe his words give you a glimpse into the heart of children struggling with obedience and wanting what they want.

You see, being even and kind to a child dominated by these thoughts will not make a dent in the real issue. That is why your focus in parenting must be directed at the heart. As a Christian parent trying to lead your child to Christ you are, in effect, interrupting a love affair between a child and his natural passions. Children are by nature focused on what they want. What they naturally want is not pretty! Look at Galatians 5:19-21 again. When you tell your child he should share his toys, you are challenging a deep, passionate desire for self-gratification. As parents we think, it is just a toy truck, what’s the big deal? The big deal is that your child is naturally controlled by the desire to please himself. That toy truck is his connection with happiness and you want to take it from him! No wonder there is such a negative reaction when you tell him to give it up.

This is why only the gospel and the word of Christ can help your children. The word of God must be deeply valued by our children. Tim’s comments provide some background to the truth of Proverbs 6:20-24 that we have been examining in the last several posts. Tim also demonstrates a parent’s biblical response to his child’s natural love for sin when he recognizes the similarity between himself and his child:

So I guess I’m not too different from my children. The remedy they need is the same one I need. Like me, they need to see that authority is given to us as a gracious gift from God. They need to learn to honor authority and to see it as something given to restrain us rather than annoy us. And they need to honor that authority and to obey it joyfully, willingly, immediately and with a joyful heart. This is what I need to do with my sin—I need to hear and heed God’s Word. And this is what they need to do with their sin—hear and heed my words as I seek to teach them what God would have them do.

This is the point of Proverbs 6:22 when it speaks of how the word of God is to live within us.

When you walk, they will guide you;
When you sleep, they will watch over you;
When you awake, they will speak to you.

You and your children have the same issues. The answers to those issues are the same for each of you. Hearts must be directed to Christ and his word. Sin needs to be seen for what it is. The next time you wonder why your children don’t respond well to your direction, think about what is really going on inside. Consider the battles of the heart. Consider the hope that Christ alone offers. Urge your children, as Solomon did, to bind the words of Christ upon their hearts forever.

· What behaviors and attitudes do you see in your children (or yourself) when they can’t have what they want? (Anger and defiance? Self-pity and sulking? Obedience?)

· How do you usually respond to their behavior? (Do you label their behavior/attitude biblically, or do you try to “manage” it or appease them?)

· What changes do you need to make in the way you confront sin in your children?

If you don’t have children at home (or even if you do) what changes do you need to make in the way you confront sin in yourself?

Be Strong and Courageous

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go." — Joshua 1:9

Here are some recent headlines from newspapers & Internet sources:

America faces food rationing?

Oil nears $118 per barrel – could top $125 soon!

Gas at all time high

Dollar continues slide against Euro

Economic Recession already here

After-shocks continue from mid-west quake

More troops killed in car-bomb in Iraq

Housing crisis deepens

These headlines are typical of the news these days. While these headlines are nothing new, they represent constant themes that are before the American public. Taken as a whole these headlines present an attitude of concern and worry. They indicate an undercurrent that is increasing in our culture – gloom and doom. These themes work their way into the lives of our families. While they don’t represent imminent danger, they contribute to a general mood of discouragement.

As husbands and fathers, you may or may not be bothered by these headlines. You may just dismiss them as media hype. However, our culture is discouraged and even fearful of these warnings. Our children interact with other children whose families may “stressed” by the daily onslaught of depressing headlines.

God’s words to Joshua are the only true source of hope and courage in this world. Without trusting in God’s sovereign control the barrage of worrisome headlines does provide reasons for discouragement. This is important for us to communicate to those around us. The reason things will not fall apart is that God is in control—not because we have the good sense to recognize media sensationalism.

Strength and courage come from God. The world is intimidating. It is important to take time to encourage your family with the truth of Joshua 1:9. We can be strong and courageous because God is with us. Make a point to take a headline from the news and examine it with your family in light of God’s providence and control. Help your families be encouraged by the truth of Scripture.

Also, examine your own heart in light of this changing world and culture. Some of you, perhaps, are facing downsizing at your job. Some are concerned about rising housing and fuel prices. Food prices are going up. In these situations, fear can show itself by increasing irritation and shortness with others. You may find yourself doing the finances over and over again in your mind. Perhaps the headlines are beginning to take their toll, now that you have thought about it. The answer is still the same. Be strong and courageous for I am with you!

• What type of issues concern you most for the future? Economic? Morality? Terrorism?
• What issues tempt you to worry and anxiety?
• What will you do to replace fear with courage and strength?

Why do you work?

Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ. Obey them not only to win their favor when their eye is on you, but like slaves of Christ, doing the will of God from your heart. Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men, because you know that the Lord will reward everyone for whatever good he does, whether he is slave or free.

And masters, treat your slaves in the same way. Do not threaten them, since you know that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and there is no favoritism with him. Ephesians 6:5-9

Why do you work? A number of answers seem obvious: to pay the bills, to get out of debt, to build the 401-K, to buy a house, to use personal abilities, to advance professionally, and other reasons. For many in American culture, work is a means to an end. In other words, some people endure work, but what they really live for is some activity outside of work. Few think of work as a religious activity unless one happens to be in some sort of full time religious service.

Take a few moments to consider what you think about work and why you work. Since work often occupies the single largest block of dedicated time in life, having a clear idea of why you do what you do is good important.

This passage in Ephesians 6, plus the parallel passage in Colossians 3, makes a very personal claim upon the lives of Christians. Christians are told to work to do the will of God. You are even told to obey your supervisor or boss just as you would obey Christ. It might seem that it would be easy to obey Christ if he were your boss at work. He would always be fair, his criticisms would be just and helpful, and he would always be looking out for your best interests. What’s not to like about this situation? However, verse five says that you should obey earthly supervisors as if they are the Lord. Here is the rub: human supervisors are not always fair, their criticisms are at times unjust, and often they are more concerned with their own interests than with yours. Yet Paul says to obey these earthly authorities as if they were Christ, himself. Why? For the answer, take a look at verse 16 in Colossians 1:

For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him.

Notice the relationship between this verse and verse five above. Your supervisor, with all of his or her faults, was still handpicked by Christ for the job. Jesus Christ determined who your supervisor would be and made you accountable to him. This accountability is not based upon how well your boss performs, but upon the placement of that individual in your life by the Lord of the Universe. All authorities were created at his pleasure.

Work – it is an opportunity to bring honor to the name of God. Do your families see you thinking this way about your work? Your work provides a powerful leadership opportunity to live out true reality in front of those whom you are to lead!

· What things does your boss or supervisor do to make it difficult to obey him as if he were the Lord?

· If you have employees under your authority, what do you do that might make it more difficult for them to obey you?

· What changes do you need to make at work in these areas?

· How can the other men in your group help hold you accountable to be a better leader at work?

But the one who does the will of God lives forever…

Do not love the world nor the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world. The world is passing away, and also its lusts; but the one who does the will of God lives forever. —1 John 2:15-17

In our studies since the fall we have examined the Beatitudes together. We have been challenged concerning our responsibility to know the Scriptures in order to be able to answer the questions our families may have. The Proverbs have called us to have courage, to fear God, to be discerning, to listen well, to invest in heavenly treasure, to love a rebuke. All these studies are different facets of one great common theme—if we are God’s men we must not love the world, its ways, and its things. What we have studied together is not compatible with loving the world.

This week’s passage in 1 John tells us that the things connected with this world are not worthy of our love, our affection, our longings. The world is passing away. The deceptive plan of the evil one is to entice us to love things whose value is literally a fleeting shadow. The world promises much but delivers only bitter fruit. The things in the world do not bring any lasting satisfaction, only craving for more of those same things.

Certainly none of us wants to see our families pursue the futile desires of this world. We don’t want to see our children say, in the words of Proverbs 5:14, that they have come to the brink of ruin. But are we prepared to lead by example as well as by word and intent? All of the good things we have learned in the men’s ministry will come to naught if our affections are set on the world and things in that world. John is clear: do not love the world. He then identifies three things that distinguish the love of the world: the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the boastful pride of life.

John is telling us that the things we crave for human satisfaction—things that our eyes are attracted to, worldly things that we long for, and finally, accomplishments that only the world will recognize—take us away from doing the will of the Father. These things cause us to be poor examples to our wives and children. Men, do you have things in one of these three categories that you will not give up? Perhaps they are secret things that you believe only you know about. If there are such things that you will not give up, you are not only heading in the wrong direction yourself, but you are also setting a bad example for your children. Ephesians 4:17-19 teaches that this pursuit will never satisfy, but only lead to lusts that can never be satisfied. The opposite pursuit is to do the will of the Father, which leads to eternal life.

This week as you look at our passage, ask God to help you see where you have a love for the world. God offers us a rich reward for turning from the world. If we pursue his will, revealed in Scripture, we will live forever. No, this is not something we earn. Living forever is the gift of God. However, we can choose not to live for this world, but instead, pursue with courage the will of God. Men, this is a great gift to give to your children, to your grandchildren, to your wife, and to all those whom you love most dearly.

• What activities in your life reveal a love for the world?
• What can you do today to turn away (repent) from this and do the will of God instead?

Authority for building up

He who answers before listening—
that is his folly and his shame. Proverbs 18:13

Men, God has charged us with leading our families. The biblical basis for our leadership is found in such passages as Eph. 5:25-33 and Eph. 6:4. This leadership is an awesome responsibility. We are to represent Christ to our wives and children. In 2 Cor. 13:10 we learn that biblical leadership is to have the focus of building others up and not tearing them down. Paul says in Ephesians 4:29 that our words are rotten if they don’t build others up. Each of us can think of examples of leadership that are not especially building or encouraging. Perhaps our fathers appeared to tear us down more than they built us up. Perhaps you have had a supervisor who led by intimidation. God, however, has called us to be different than that. Our leadership is to build up those under our care. We are to lead with understanding and compassion. Thankfully, God has given us specific directions in his word to help us be leaders who build others up. In this post we will look at one of these directives – not to answer without listening.

One common temptation is to think that we know exactly how to solve a problem before we even hear what the problem is. For example, you hear two of your children fussing over a favorite toy. You walk in and dispense judgment based upon previous disputes over this toy. You just assume that the cause of the upset this time is the same as the last time. Or, perhaps you believe you know the reason for your wife’s apparent discouragement as soon as you walk in the house after work. You look at your wife and you are sure you have seen that look on her face before. You believe you know what the problem is, so you tell your wife that she needs to have a better attitude and not be so easily discouraged. Thinking you have been especially observant, you are not even aware that your wife is miffed at your “encouragement.” These are two examples of answering before listening.

These two examples illustrate a severe problem. Pride leads us to think that we can solve problems by making educated guesses about the reason for problem. But Proverbs 18:13 makes the rather startling statement that answering before listening is a foolish and shameful thing. When we answer before we listen we act as though we don’t need input from others to make a wise judgment. Over time this attitude can lead to bitterness and resentment from those we lead. This is one sin whose bitter fruit may take years to mature. Little children seldom have either the ability or the opportunity to address the damage you cause by answering before listening.

“Josh, I see that you still have not learned to share your toy with Ryan.”

“But, daddy, this time I didn’t….“

Now Josh, you know that you must respect daddy and not talk back to me.”

“But, daddy.…”

“Josh, I said no back talking! It is not right before God to be disrespectful to daddy. Not another word!”

What Josh was trying to say was that Ryan was not upset with Josh about sharing the toy. Ryan was actually fussing because he rolled the toy over his finger. Even though Josh had been guilty of not sharing in the past, this time he was actually sharing with Ryan when Ryan hurt his finger.

Josh knew that if he said any more in his defense he would be disciplined, so he just went along with the Dad’s faulty assessment. Over the years Josh said less and less when Dad answered before listening. By the time Josh reached his teen years he wasn’t really interested in hearing what Dad had to say about anything. For his part, Dad wondered what happened to his relationship with Josh. Why was Josh “suddenly” distant and non-responsive? Dad is unaware that the withdrawal started years ago because Dad had become an expert at answering before listening. To be sure, Josh is not an innocent bystander; he had done much to provoke his father. But dad had lost the opportunity to find out what Josh really thought, because he answered before he listened.

This is why this sin is shameful. It can rob you of the relationships you hold most dear. Why not take some time now to examine your habitual responses to your children and to your wife? Ask your wife if you answer before you listen. It is not too late to reclaim the ground you may have lost. God is a gracious God. However, if you persist in answering before listening, you will only push away those closest to you.

• Do you build up or tear down with your words?
• Do you answer before you listen?

God can help you change. Your family needs you to be a listener who really hears them out. Think carefully about this issue.

• What are some ways you can find out if you answer before listening?

• If you have been answering before listening, how does God want you to solve the problem?